An open Affair

The casual handholds, deliberate foot rubs, the nose kisses and the slow brushes while in public glare is love in its best form - unspoken yet high in spirits. As I get older, I realize that it is not in what you say or do but the underlying silences and stillness that matters in a relationship. I'm discovering that loving without conditions is almost magical and rare. The romance through the most mundane activities, intimacies through the chaotic rush of everyday lives and the little exchanges to cheer you up on particularly tough days are such essential reminders of the beauty of being in love. Being in love is liberating. Being in love is spiritually gratifying. Being in love means loving yourself more than ever, Being in love is devoid of conditions of any kind, Being in love is a heavenly feeling. The ability to cherish each other in long silences are moments of truth that only two people understand in a way that no other can. 2017 was an enlightening year of my life th...

If it was divine in a rare way, should it matter if you were a second or the first choice. It shouldn't - right? Yet, it does. Why? Doesn't it seem that the share of pain and hurt is never ending if you were the former? Or is it the situation that makes it palpable for the tears to keep flowing no matter what? In fact every time reality bites, which is more often than you'd imagine or expect, there's a melancholic sadness that wells up vehemently questioning the premise of the relationship. Although you would've known what it is to not be part of the primary relationship all along, yet, there's a natural tendency to break open at little instances. Better still, despite being aware of the entire situation, what was running on your mind when you said Yes? Or wasn't the thought catalog in its rightful place to help you decide for the better? Everlasting love it must have been, a magical feeling that sweeps it away from your feet, making you go weak in your ...

At the end, it will all make sense For you and me on each side of the fence. The long nights when I wondered how bravely you could pick cherries on your way, To days when I faltered to think what made me pause while I was making hay. When running around in oblivion seemed so right You rode unscathed unharmed unhurt intact and high It was all in the seemingly dark space of abominable silence. You made it appear it was simple, easy to race And I attempted without the art of cheer on my face. I flawed, I failed, I healed, I sailed You mastered and conquered while good sense prevailed. The pots of gold were never mine The hues of joys did just fine Me and you walked it together And our eyes met pleasures that were different altogether Some day we shall meet again Our kids would grow and we wouldn't have to feign Then you would've reached the zenith of success And I would've survived the journey while I confess Those little things I did...

1. Send my parents on a Europe Tour 2. Learn to strum the Guitar really really well 3. Practice Surya Namaskar to perfection to complete atleast 50 sets in one GO :) 4. Win some random reality show and earn atleast 25L 5. Master the Urdu language someday - speech and written skills 6. Read up everything about Satyajit Ray and watch every masterpiece created by him 7. Get Raub to meet Amartya Sen someday - his namesake and the reason why we named him so 8. Familiarize with the various moods and melodies of Tagore and then play them my way on the guitar - basically create some sort of My Music 9. Write a short self bio in chaste Hindi 10. Meet Gulzar saab once and dedicate an Urdu piece exclusively written for him 11. Watch Bridges on the Madison County again and again till I internalize almost everything 12. Be able to record a musical duet with Raub someday 13. Holiday every year - An absolute must. Infact 2 such destination breaks - with Family fir...

"आते जाते खूबसूरत आवारा सड़कों पे कभी कभी इत्तेफाक से कितने अनजान लोग मिल जाते हैं उनमे से कुछ लोग भूल जाते हैं, कुछ याद रह जाते हैं " Extremely powerful lines. I heard this song on radio on my way to the office today. The mere choice of words brought back photographic memories of places, incidents & people conjuring up a delectable concoction of misty love-filled air on a breezy day. I am reminded of such wonderful memories when I have encountered severe incidents of fear, understated embarassment trying to do the hero-act, ran into unending conversations with random people I knew I wouldnt ever meet again - especially on vacations & made no attempts to save them either on a piece of paper or capture on a camera. Ironical though, I must have not wanted these memories to remain indelible and thus no attempts to save them & strangely, they seem etched. I never miss out on the details of these wonderful and sometimes not-so-wonderful memories whenever ...

I have never been known for the zeal of doing the right kind of things in my life but mostly the lack of not being able to. The tone and pitch of sorrows layered with anger and annoyance brings to the fore my real self. Seldom understood, largely misunderstood. Known to be the ultimate rambler, seeking solace in the myriad details of hope in wakefulness and love-the logic syndrome dragging the entire live-in in chaotic disorder. Agreed. The various shades of blue,black and grey. Solid color ( you see) defines me the best. Unadulterated, pure in its darkest shade and shrieking of rock-solid faith. Usually embedded deep inside, these hues need an eye beyond vision. To be able to love it, will always remain the harder choice, I am glad you opted otherwise. Agonizingly contented - the rare emotion my tiny little faith enjoys today. The whites, pinks & the floral marvels missing. The purples waiting to unfold some day.